Sporting Weekend

Happy Monday! Even though it never really got cold here (my deepest sympathy to those without year round palm trees), I went on an early run this morning around Tempe Lake and could feel summer in the air. I love this time of year. Now for the shocking details of my weekend.

I, Daniel, attended not 1, not 2, but 3 entire softball games in a 48 hour period. You might be wondering, "But Dan, how is that even possible!? Were you forced to go? Did you catch lesbian? Your life really is pretty sad, huh?" Let me tell you folks, I asked myself all these questions too in the beginning. From the first game I attended though, something magical happened: I had fun. While I don't pretend to understand all the hows and whys, all I know is that I had a legitimately good time. And guys, I was there alone even! I'm pretty sure something similar happened in an episode of "LOST", so we'll all have to watch that show again to understand...enjoying softball has something to do with polar bears on tropical islands and giant buried magnetic vortexes...

Photo evidence that I actually went to these games

The whole reason I originally went to the first game was because a great friend from Salt Lake City, who coaches softball, was in town with her team, so being a good friend dictated that I attend at least one of her team's game. After the first game she and I went to dinner, and I admitted how much I enjoyed the match. Having grown up a baseball fan; and by "fan" I mean I loved going to baseball games so I could sit in the grass, eat hotdogs, and have "sports bonding time" with my brothers and dad that wasn't basketball; I understood the premise of softball, but I was full of questions after having seen an actual game.

Daniel: So, I noticed that most of the players had ponytails. At what point in the game is it appropriate for the opposing team to grab and/or yank the hair of the other team's players?

Maggie: Never. 

Daniel: Ah, I see, interesting. Ok, so in baseball when the batter punts...

Maggie: Bunts. 

Daniel: Tomato Tomahto

Maggie: No...

Daniel: So in baseball when the batter bat-bumps the baseball, he runs really fast to first base. I noticed that when they do the same move in softball, they don't really run that fast...is that a technique of some kind?

Maggie: Are you actually asking why softball players don't run as fast as baseball players?

Daniel: Exactly! They just seem so slow.

Maggie: I can't handle your questions right now.

Daniel: Ok, enough game talk, we played well tonight, that's all that matters.

Maggie: Thank you! I'm relieved that not every aspect of the game was lost on you. The player who hit the home run in the 6th inning was so excited, especially since her fiancé was here for the game. Did you see that hit?

Daniel: Sure sure, the ball went really far, but what about the fiancé? Is she a softball player too?

Maggie: He.

Daniel: Huh?

Maggie: She's marrying a man.

Daniel: Oh...so it's like an alternative softball kinda wedding?

Maggie: You realize that the majority of softball players aren't actually lesbians, it's just a stereotype.

 Daniel: Hmmm. So is everyone else on the team open to her new age relationship, or are they super pissed?

Maggie: .......